Do You Play to Win or Play To Lose?


Do you like to win?  Or, do you prefer to lose?  Seems like a crazy question, but believe it or not many people choose to lose.  Whether it’s a conscious choice or a subconscious choice, it happens way too often.  It’s the decision and the distinction that will pave the path to your happiness, your health, your wealth, and your entire future.

So, here’s a real life example of what I’m talking about…

Last week, while working with a fairly new client and her team, she said the most life-predicting, life-telling, statement and it was this, “I would rather lose, because if I lose the other person can win.”  Let me repeat the statement, “I would rather lose, because if I lose the other person can win.”  The room went deafly silent.  The energy shifted BIG time.   I stabilized the room.  And before I go into what we did from there, let me go back to the beginning of the program with the team and explain to you how we got to that life-predicting statement.

The focus of the team meeting was to tap into the psychoses of the participants and to show them how playing games reflects true behaviors. This creates an environment that allows for self-awareness and self-discovery (if you have a qualified facilitator that demands change). It’s my duty as a facilitator not to shove thoughts towards the participants.  My goal is to get the participants to pull out all their own brilliance from their conditioning and past experiences that they’ve been hiding behind.  It’s to encourage and to allow them to discover their genius they have inside of themselves.

As with all of my programs, events, and classes I teach, I always incorporate games for experiential learning opportunities.  Because when the participants are actively engaged in the learning process, their learning experiences and outcomes are infinitely greater. 

Why use games? Because, it gives you the experience to participate and engage your top three learning modalities all at once.  It’s about tapping into your visual, auditory, and kinesthetic ways of learning in a safe structured environment to maximize your experience and anchor what you’ve learned, so you can access into it anytime you need to.

So, the game I chose had two parts to it.  But first, I had the room break up into two teams.  With the teams at their designated area, I spoke to the entire group at once so everyone could hear the instructions for the game.  There would be no variation on rules between teams.  They both heard the instructions at the same time.  (Very Important)

The first objective was to take the 2 supply items I gave them and complete part one.   I gave each team two minutes to complete.  I stopped the clock mid-way through.  I did a status check with both teams.  Team #1 was cruising right along, they were smiling and feeling good about things.  Team #2 was frustrated, one participant went and sat down for a minute and left the others hanging. 

How many of you have seen this in your own workplace or in yourself?  You’re frustrated so you quit, you’re left hanging when a co-worker doesn’t show-up, or you’re winning and you’re letting the world know?

Interesting huh?

So, I started the clock again with 1 minute left to complete part one, they were both able to complete the task and complete with accuracy.  The time-out allowed for people to regroup their thoughts, control their emotions, and step back into the game.  Everyone at this point has had a win.  The key is to always know when to call a time-out.  Know when to stabilize your team, know when to find out what’s working and what’s not, so everyone can get back on the same page and complete tasks with success.  Allow for learning. Allow for WINS!
When do you think you should have called a time-out in your business and personal life and you didn’t?  Would it have helped prevent a disaster?  Would you have saved yourself a lot of pain, time, and money?

Incorporate this scenario into your next team meeting as a team exercise/challenge.  Discuss.  What would members of your team do?  Discuss how things could have been avoided if a time-out was called.

**NOTE:  It doesn’t have to be a big deal or take a lot of time to call a time-out and discuss.  The more you do it, the easier and faster it gets.**

Stay tuned for next week, when we get into Part 2 of the game, what happened, and learn how you can prevent yourself from consciously or subconsciously choosing to lose versus win in all areas of your life.

In the meantime, stay present and engaged with your business and your personal life this week.  Know when to call a time-out and know when to get back into the game.

Until Next Week,


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